My husband’s surgeon, the one who had messed up his hernia operation (which led to his azoospermia) had told him a few weeks back that it was wise not to waste time and plan on IVF-ICSI as soon as possible. Apparently, a friend of his underwent the procedure and became a dad.
I had once told him earlier “Supposing we do go for IVF, how can we be 100% sure that it’ll be our child? They can use anybody’s sperms for better results”. My husband was like, we could always get a DNA test to confirm . I had argued back “And what if the DNA test comes negative? Will we throw away the child in that case ?” He had replied with “Point to be noted”
So, when my husband told his surgeon about this doubt, he had replied that IVF is now a booming million-dollar industry. They give you absolute guarantee of the baby being your own and conducting a DNA test for surety. If somebody assures you with this level of confidence, there leaves little doubt of mishaps occurring. If they were to resort to fraud, their entire business would go down etc etc.
My SIL’ s IVF twins are often sick and I had gone to my in-laws place last month for 3 weeks as they were being admitted in one hospital after another for severe diarrhoea, infection etc. IVF kids have lower immunity than ones conceived naturally, so extra precautions have to be taken when it comes to them. In the end, I was totally exhausted, both physically and mentally, and couldn’t wait to come back home.
Anyway, coming back to us, my husband brought up the topic of IVF twice during different occasions. He tells me there is no harm in giving it a try. But at this point in time, I’m totally adamant against it. It feels unnatural and weird and involves so much immodesty with dozens of people having to see your privates that I cringe at the very thought of undergoing all that. Neither do I fancy dozens of hospital visits and stays nor being shot with hundreds and hundreds of syringes. I want my body to produce hormones to nurture my baby naturally, not fake injected hormones.
As someone who covers completely, the exposing aspect of IVF is something that completely goes against my set of beliefs. My husband was deeply moved when I explained my reservations to him and prayed that the Almighty grant me children naturally seeing my passion and desire to hold on to my convictions.
Ramadan is coming soon, I will just hold on to my faith and pray for the time being. I’ve been patient for so long and have already experienced a world of hope, defeat, and mourning — all while being unsure of what the future holds. If sabr (patience) was easy, Ibrahim (AS) wouldn’t have turned his son’s face away from him when he was about to slaughter him. Sabr will break you, wreck you, make you want to scream out loud, make you want to leave everything, but for His love, I will keep going!